Purity

There truly is a secret promise in the act of quieting the ‘I’

The further I go into existence, the less I care to be witnessed. I have spent this whole year in a bit of an online void. Contemplating what many years of public exposure, has done to the most sacred relationship I have, the one with myself. I have had to lick the wounds from self exploitation, and kiss the scars into forgiveness.

Breaking the silence carries weight for me. I undergo the eternal pull between becoming known, and protecting my peace. Silence carries immense power, a power I am still, at times, restless in. Even before words are spoken, respect is demanded. Entering a room, letting my eyes read what is being felt rather than said, sniffing every gesture, listening to understand beyond words, and allowing for others to make themselves known, through conversation. Sitting at the corner of mystery. That is until the eyes of curiosity finds me, and I am put into the light of revelation. As my chosen words are spoken with care, I offer my wisdom. My gift.

In almost perfect rhythm and parallel, to so much of the collective illusion that has been exposed and revealed this year, my many masks have humbled me not just to the ground, but further in to the edge of my whole life experience. It has forced me into truth. Not a truth that speaks, rather one that moves in silence. A truth that is felt. One that does not try, one that just simply is. It demands full embrace, and there is nowhere to hide. The light wants to penetrate you so deeply, you have no other option but to open your chest fully, to everything you’ve ever avoided, and allow for love to be made.

Very scorpion of me, to keep the fire of my oldest patterns alive, through out this year for close examination, acceptance and love. I have kept the fire running for as long as until it did not hurt anymore - rock bottom is such a fruitful experience. It’s the most authentic, intimate check in with yourself. Honestly I admire Scorpio energy, so much for the courage to daringly going into the lowest of lows, all in the name of deep rooted embodiment and alchemy. Honestly how can you trust someone who has not befriended their dark, loved it into light, and tamed its ugly desires with self trust and creativity?

My layers deeper intimacy with life, is guarded with such care and tenderness, I shiver from the initiation of letting myself be witnessed, so that I can share the potency of my alchemy with you. I have always felt, that purpose, should be about going beyond the self.

Growing up I felt too good for the life I had been given. I felt in my bones, almost as a promise, that the universe carried codes of infinity. When you’re beautiful and you don’t have inner direction, you get pulled into EVERY direction. I have allowed myself many lives.

The pain as well as the immense power in my story, has been filled with such potential, it early boosted my ego, in a way that made me feel above and better than. My roots are gifting my limitless potential, such gravity and humility. I am beyond grateful for the contrast. Judgment I have learned, burns bridges and repels connection. Connection, is my greatest longing, while one of my biggest fears at the same time. In the chaos of connection, I often experience the losing of myself, and if I am not aware, it becomes a total self erasure. While solitude brings me into harmony with my center, it also becomes lonely, serving only the self. To be in any ship, is a gift of compromise, learning to not only hear, but listen. There truly is a secret promise in the act of quieting the ‘I’

Recent events in my home away from home, Bondi, brought about a feeling in me, that I had to step out into light again. All my love and prayers are with the community. A life given is as valuable as life taken. While no death or horror is ever excused, beauty is so often born from pain and tragedy. It has a way of connecting us, of forcing us into expression, into art and into healing. Souls with the initiation of sacrifice, come into life with such courage and power. I choose to be grateful and in full admiration for their journey.

When I am chin to chin with the treshold of change, first I meet insecurity from the unknown, I try to settle the restless grib of trying to know, I let myself dissolve into nothing and that is when stillness pulls me in and reveals we must ride change with our eyes closed. When we step out from the safe and known, and into sacred dance with the divine, the path already laid out, the only thing to do is regulate, stay present and trust your body to lead you.

I love and adore you so much.

V